tonite....

It's the end of 2007, and what a year it has been. As I prepare to get ready for this evenings festivities, I look back and celebrate how far I have come. Two years ago I could not have imagined that i would be where I am today. I have a lot of work to do in 2008 and there is no time for slacking. I must focus on what needs to be done. Naturally, the usual new years resolutions apply: more exercise ~ atleast get back to my weekly schedule; save money (paying bills off); do my driving test in the first 5 months; Ryerson course starts in January/February; and possibly Ibiza in the summer, with a side trip to Berlin/Hamburg. So those are my plans for the year. Ich habe keine zeit for messing around this year. Happy New Year.

the problem of shopping online

I was one of many people who sat by their computers on Christmas eve - 8pm - hoping to get in on Future Shop's Boxing Day sale. Among the items up for grabs and one that EVERYONE was talking about was the HD DVD player for $99. I was looking for a HTIB to go with the new LCD tv I purchased - so I had my eyes on either the Pioneer or Sony system. I didn't want to spend too much either.

Anyhow... 8pm arrives, and after searching the site (using previously bookmarked items that were on sale) - got to check out - and.... waiting, waiting, ...tick tock tick tock... and then from out of the blue - I was booted off the site. Too busy to access. I was p/o'ed. I wasn't the only one (judging by the comments in both Future Shops boards and RedFlagDeals forums). It was a complete f/up on Future Shop's side.

Needless to say, I did manage to get the system - and it would be sent to me via Purolator. I expected to wait a week for the deliver, but surprisingly, it arrived yesterday - in a HUGE box! Holy, it was taller than me! Hey, if I ever loose the roof over my head, I could use this box as a makeshift home :-)

I started to unpack the thing - and after wiring everything up, looked at all the connections and wires, I thought, holy shit, I can't figure this out. I get no sound - I have all kinds of connections and wires but haven't a clue how to hook the thing up. Why the hell do they make these things so hard? I have the television, the HD digital box, the HD DVD player and the receiver thingy. Making them all work properly was something else. Even the tv - trying to figure out the settings is too confusing, the picture size is never the same - prompting me to change from stretch, zoom, normal and different inputs and holy crap, I am getting fed up with it all.

As I sat last evening thinking about it all, when it comes down to the bottom line, I really don't care about resolution, size, sound - so I packed that stupid thing up and am sending it back. The HD box is going back as well - even though they shipped it out to me - and I made a big deal about having to spend a day dragging the old box to Rogers Video - and their bloody system were down by the time I arrived there. Anyhow, this whole experience has left a bad taste in my mouth. I am beginning to think I should have just been content with my old tv and regular cable.

Meet and Greet

Tonight I attended a meet and greet (or a holiday wine/cheese party) for the residents of the condo. It was nice, the first one I've been to. It was a small gathering, mostly older residents but it was a good opportunity to meet other people. It would be nice to do this again - hopefully with a much younger crowd. Anyhow, lets see what the new year brings. The vet was here today - and it was Berlin all over again. I am referring to speaking with people who's first language is not englisch, aber, a very nice man - Silas got his shots - which was perfect, so now, I do not need to travel all the way downtown.

Right now, I am watching Walk on Water... I want to go to Israel!

so this is xmas

I love this time of the year. Last week, while walking around in Holt Renfrew, I came upon their potpourri scent of cinnamon and apple. I snatched up the last package (which contained room spray and candle. I can't describe what I feel when I smell this but it reminds me of good thoughts... Certain scents bring about all these emotions from yesteryear - a time in my life when things were, well, not as they are today. This is my therapy. Anyhow, I also picked up a gift set of Agent Provocateur (pictured), oh my g~d, this is wonderful! I love it! It came with some lotion (that provides a slight sheen when worn) and bath gel.

If I could...

I would buy a car, pack all my belongings, and hit the road for some soul-searching quest across this planet. Just me and my dog, driving along the open roads, no destination in mind, just driving. I look forward to sitting behind the wheel. For now, I am patiently waiting for my driving instructor to get his calender right and schedule so consistent days with me. I had most of last week off, had a lesson scheduled on Sunday and then on Thursday morning. Sunday, as luck would have it, we had a major snow storm - so no lesson. No problem, John says, see you on Wednesday, I answer, you mean Thursday right? I had to clarify that as I had to work Wednesday. He says yes okay. Wednesday evening, following my first Board meeting for the condo, I arrive home to a flashing message on the answering machine. John calling, he's running late but will be there at 9:30am. Wait a minute, I think. Our lesson is tomorrow. Next message, John calling, he's waiting downstairs, and if I don't show up in the next few minutes he will have to leave. I should call the office to schedule another time and there will probably be a $20 administration charge for a late cancellation. What!? Unbelievable, this is really pissing me off. I fork out $1400 and I can't even get behind the wheel because of one thing or the other. I am really not happy at this point. I have decided that I am going to request another instructor or have them transfer them downtown and have them pick me up at work. I can't learn this way - it will be a waste of time and money on my part.

matt damon

peacefulspirits

Nothing is hidden, for nature sees all.
What Am I Holding On To?
As I Remove My Darkness, I Reveal Light
Let go of the negative, hold onto the positive
Letting go does not lead to insecurity, rather it builds comfort
I cannot discover new oceans until I loose sight of the shore
Forgive and I will see differently
Allow light where there was darkness
The past is over, it no longer be apart of me.

vacation....

So now I am on holiday until January. I received an email from Air Canada on fare sales 'to my favourite' destinations... a few clicks and I was at the check out page for a flight to London - total price? $1000. I was like, what!? Where's the sale? The fuel alone was over $200. Well, having just received my Maple Leaf Lounge access (card) - I plan on making at least 3 flights this year (one work related so far). I need to make the most of that fee, I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I signed up for it. Oh well, its too late now.

No new dog either, I decided against it. Just don't have the cash to fork out for one. Besides, Silas would hate me if I got another dog.

Myspace

I just cleaned up my blogs over an myspace...leaving just a few of the funnier more memorable ones to reflect on. Things are definitely not the same over there. Life as I knew it (in myspace) is no more. A few key people who I felt I connected with are either on Facebook or have dropped off somewhere. I have emails of others who I will contact and hopefully keep in touch. I like the simplicity of Facebook, but hate how boring it is. At least with myspace you visit a profile and each one is radically different from the next. Getting there in one click used to be a problem, now it appears Facebook is lagging much like Myspace was back in the Spring of last year (06). So as I listen to the beautiful voice of Wayne Jackson (http://www.myspace.com/waynejackson or www.waynejackson.de), 'Everything is Beautiful'. I am anxiously waiting for a solo album to hit Itunes or atleast be available here. I was almost tempted to book a flight to Berlin - but now that I am going to put a deposit on a female pug this week, I think my place is at home while I prepare the meeting of Duchess and Silas. Duchess...maybe, maybe not. I want to name her, all my pets have been named by friends, for once I want to name her. And I can't name her Coco.. Gabi (Gabrielle).. oh well, I have a few days to decide. Hopefully all goes well.

a myspace post from 2006

29 Apr 2006

SADNESS OF THE TRIBE (lyrics) Current mood: bouncy Category: Music this only goes to show how fanatical I can be, I remember hearing this song a long time ago, and every once and a while, I will hear it in my head, and couldn't find it on disk anywhere! So, thanks to the internet, after many searches I finally!!! found out who sings it, okay, so I don't have the song, but its more than what I had before (a song in my head without a name)... so here it is: SADNESS OF THE TRIBE (Ann Mortifee/Paul Burton/Declan O'Doherty/Terry Frewer) Savannah in the dead of night Creatures in the dark Hyenas keep their distance From the carrion of the heart As fearsome as the panther's eye The sadness of the tribe A star for everyone of us The shine of heaven's tears Deathbirds fly between them now The sadness is so near Relentless as the lion's hold The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe Eucalyptus in the dawning mist Fires are burning low A barefoot girl goes from the hills To where she does not know Crying in the morning light The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe Africa I've stood in your rain I've stood in your heartland Africa There's nowhere to hide The sadness of the tribe Is the sorrow of the world Startled pink flamingoes rise Into an auburn cloud While crowds of barefoot wanderers Live only where allowed The madness of captivity The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe ( Mabela Music l984 PROC)

ANTM - 2nd Last Week

Saleisha ? should win, she's very beautiful, natural, and has a very good personality. The other two: the boat model, and Jenna - swan song - who looks past it, too tired. Really, I think all of them have a chance if they want it. Again, Tyra went to bat for Bianca and I don't know if that was for the benefit of the show, but it sucked. Oh, right, I saw the funniest video on YouTube...Santa is a Jerk! Yeah, I am distracted. Today while talking to a co-worker, I took the conversation elsewhere, as if to continue a conversation from days ago.

Together We Will Conquer

Together
(Words and Music by Joey Gregorash)

On this day, we stand together
And pledge our love to one another
Oh my darlin, I will love you
From this moment
There will be no other

On this road, that lies before us
Live the love, the joy and sorrow
But we will always try to remember
The pain today, is the joy tomorrow

And now together, together
Love will be much better, yes it will
Together together, our love will share
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change

But until then, till the we will follow
Follow this road endlessly, we believe,
That we have found love from this moment
From this moment until forever

And now together, together
Love will be much better, yes it will
Together together, our love will share
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change

Wedding Song (There Is Love)
Music & Lyrics By Noel Paul Stookey (Paul of Peter, Paul & Mary)
Recorded by Paul Stookey - Also Recorded by Harry Belafonte

He is now to be among you
At the calling of your heart
Rest assured this troubadour
Is acting on his part.

The union of your spirits here
Has caused him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is love, there is love.

Well a man shall leave his mother
And a woman leave her home
They shall travel on to where
The two shall be as one
As it was in the beginning
Is now until the end
Woman draws her life from man
And gives it back again
There is love, there is love.

Well then what's to be the reason
For becoming man and wife
Is it love that brings you here
Or love that brings you life

For if loving is the answer
Then who's the giving for
Do you believe in something
That you've never seen before
For there's love, Oh there's love.

Humming…

Oh the marriage of your spirits here
Has caused him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is love, ah there is love.

Death

Because I could not stop for Death 

BECAUSE I could not stop for Death-- 
He kindly stopped for me-- 
The Carriage held but just Ourselves-- 
And Immortality. 

We slowly drove--He knew no haste 
And I had put away 
My labour and my leisure too, 
For His Civility-- 

We passed the School, where Children strove 
At Recess--in the Ring-- 
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain-- 
We passed the Setting Sun-- 

Or rather--He passed Us-- 
The Dews drew quivering and chill-- 
For only Gossamer, my Gown-- 
My Tippet--only Tulle-- 

We paused before a House that seemed 
A Swelling of the Ground-- 
The Roof was scarcely visible-- 
The Cornice--in the Ground-- 

Since then--'tis Centuries--and yet 
Feels shorter than the Day 
I first surmised the Horses Heads 
Were toward Eternity-- 

Emily Dickinson 

america's next top model

I don't know why I continue to watch this show. Every season, same thing - and every season I can't stand Tyra Banks. Last evening's show (a repeat of last weeks) the girls go on go-see's. Of course, one gets lost, at some point three of them are in the same area, and one girl had to wear some sheer skirt and had bright pink underwear on - brilliant, despite being told at ep 1 to wear skin tone undergarments. After it was over, (or maybe it was before?) I watched an interesting CBCNW documentary on Haute Couture. All these 'society woman' discussing why they have closets full of designer vintage garments. What caught my eye was Karl Lagerfeld, he is an absolute genius. I will always remember the time I saw him in Paris, I was too stunned to do anything, but he was getting out of his Range Rover (with entourage) and going into the rue Cambon store. One of these days I will buy something, actually, I really want a trademark Chanel jacket and if I have to save for a year to buy it - I will...

Something like this one, but different, can't locate the picture of it...

more thoughts and future goals

So, after all the snow that fell last night, and as I watched it continue to fall today, I was not surprised when John called to cancel the lesson. Lovely. I knew that would happen. I had hoped to have these lesson closer together, while all the information is fresh in my mind. I can't even remember what the hell I am supposed to do first (other than putting the key in the thingy and starting the vehicle). I know I have to turn some lights on, fix the windows, and move some stick thing into N or D (if those are correct). No one around me has vehicles, my brother just bought a new car (sehr tuer!) and I can't see him letting me go out in that. My other friends have vehicles but I don't even want to ask (or accept their offers to practice). I'd be devastated if anything should happen). So while I spent this afternoon cleaning and getting rid garbage. I really am a packrat. I have pay statements from 1998. Out comes the shredder and no more statements. I made a profile on MSN Spaces (yes, I broke down and went for it) I even added all my web profiles, including this blog. As December begins, I have to think about what my goals for the new year will be. I need to get rid of all the negative influences in my life, I begin the formal process for my conversion to Judaism (something that was started way back in '90 but never went through with it) ~ I've tried to live as a jew, following the teachings, and now I feel I am at a place where I know this is what I was meant to do - I am not going to be swayed. Most people that know me well, are aware of my beliefs. If they don't accept them or can't respect me for my choices, what can I do? Not much. It is my decision, and I alone must decide for me, and not for what should be. On another topic, all but one predictions were true. I have yet to meet this 'person' - but I know that I will, when it is right.

Charles

Khabouth... Guvernment... its the same Charles from club z... not bad....

The Hanukkah Story

A Jewish Struggle for Religious Freedom and National Survival

About 2200 years ago, Greek kings, who reigned from Damascus, ruled over the land of Judea and the Jews living there.

One Greco-Syrian King, Antiochus Epiphanes, forbade the Jewish people from praying to their God, practicing their customs, and studying their Torah. Antiochus forced the Jews to worship the Greek gods. It is said that he placed an idol of the Greek God Zeus on the alter in the Holy Temple of Jerusalem.

In response to this persecution, Judah Maccabee and his four brothers organized a group of resistance fighters known as the Maccabees. They fought against paganism and oppression.

The tenacity of the rebels, which came from their steadfast faith in one God, is one reason this military victory has been so celebrated by Jews in future generations. In one battle near Beit Horon, Judah's small army is intimidated by the size of the enemy army and Judah tells them to have faith that God is on their side:

But when they saw the army coming to meet them, they said unto Judah: 'What? shall we be able, being a small company, to fight against so great and strong a multitude? ...' And Judah said: 'It is an easy thing for many to be shut up in the hands of a few, and there is no difference in the sight of Heaven to save by many or by few; for victory in battle standeth not in the multitude of an host, but strength is from Heaven. They come unto us in fullness of insolence and lawlessness, to destroy us and our wives and our children, for to spoil us; but we fight for our lives and our laws. And He Himself will discomfort them before our face; but as for you, be yet not afraid of them." (The First Book of Maccabees)

Against great odds, after three years of fighting, the Maccabees succeeded to drive the Greco-Syrians out of Judea. Hanukkah proclaims the message of the prophet Zachariah: "Not by might, not by power, but by My spirit."

The Maccabees reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. They cleaned the Temple, removing the Greek symbols and statues. When Judah and his followers finished cleaning the temple, they rededicated it. On the 25th day of the month of Kislev in 164 BCE, the Temple was purified and rededicated.

According to tradition, when the Maccabees entered the Holy Temple, they discovered that the Greco-Syrians had defiled the oil which was used to Temple's menorah. Only one vat of purified oil remained - enough for only one day. It would take the Jews a week to process more purified oil. Then a miracle occurred. The Maccabees lit the menorah and it burned for not one, but eight days, by which time the new, purified oil was ready. This is why the Hanukkah Menorah has eight candles (not including the shamash candle used to light the others) and one reason why Jews celebrate Hanukkah for eight days.

What is Kiva?

I have made three loans to three businesses in need. I really like this idea and hopefully it will work for all those individuals trying to start their own businesses. Well, I did make a loan to someone who is looking to repair their home, they both have jobs which I think might allow them to be able to pay back loans, I am not sure if anyone else will buy that. I guess the organisation that is working with them would not recommend the project if they didn't have confidence. The loan is for 18 mos. but this is a home for these people. The other business is a shop and construction company. It reminds me of when I was 17 years old and I sponsored a foster child in Brazil, I felt really good about doing something like that. Anyhow, I really believe that people should help others less fortunate regardless of where they are.

Kiva.org

another frequently occuring dream

This one is just f~Up. I can't understand it, so I'm just going to throw out items, scenarios etc without actually going into a narrative...So in this dream, there is dark house, the main activity takes place in kitchen, I see a fridge, stove, table (more like a booth from some 60s diner). My aunt and I are in this house, the building itself is very narrow, there is a staircase leading to the basement and one upstairs. As we explore this house, there are areas that are hidden or passageways that lead to different areas - this building seems haunted. We return to the kitchen, and I am sitting with my aunt at the table, discussing something, when someone comes into the kitchen, and there head falls off and rolls on the floor. We both run around this house trying to find a way out and all the windows and doors are locked. There are only candles lit, and the flickering has cast shadows on the wall to expose the blood stained walls. I am freaking at this point and we somehow manage to get outside to a unpaved road. We are running through a forest with tall trees. We continue running as something is chasing after us. Finally get to a paved road and are running along the middle yellow line. Something is pulling my aunt up and as I try to catch up, she is rising up further away from me, I can see my outstretched hand trying to catch hers and I can't reach it and I am usually crying at this point, which wakes me up as I am actually crying. So I did go into a narrative. I only sought out a few meanings from the online dictionary. I also included some that I don't remember, but have had dreams about...

• To discover secret passageways in your dream, parallels to something new and/or exciting that is occurring in your waking life. It may refer to new opportunities, a new relationship, or a new attitude toward life. If you wake up before fully exploring these passageways, then it suggests that you may not know how to go about taking advantage of these opportunities or how to move forward with a relationship. Perhaps the newness and uncertainty of this discovery also makes you a little more cautious. This is a positive dream.

• To see a pigeon in your dream, suggests that you are taking the blame for the actions of others. Pigeons also represent gossip or news. You may be expressing a desire to return home.

• To dream of a porch, represents your personality, your social self, your facade and how you portray yourself to others. Consider the condition and size of the porch. In particular to dream of an enclosed porch, suggests of your tendency to distance yourself from others and your desires for privacy.

• To dream of an opened porch, signifies your outgoing nature and welcoming attitude.

• To dream that someone or something is in pursuit of you, indicates that you are refusing to acknowledge a certain viewpoint or idea.

• To dream that you are in pursuit of someone or something, suggests that you are being denied of your power and influence. You need to re-evaluate your strengths and concentrate your efforts in something more worthwhile.

• To see a red hot oven in your dream, symbolizes you will be loved by friends and family for your devotion and unselfish nature. Alternatively, it symbolizes the womb. You may be in anticipation or fear of having children. Consider the phrase " a bun in the oven".

• To dream that your oven is broken, signifies many vexations from children.

• To see a burning candle in your dream, signifies that good luck and hope will be coming your way in small and steady amounts. You are in a comfortable stage in your life and may be seeking spiritual enlightenment. Lit candles are also symbolic of intellect, enlightenment, awareness or the search for truth.

• To dream that you are in a dining room, represents your quest for knowledge and understanding. You may be reaching an important decision in your life.

• To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You need to be more open-minded to discovering your potential and instinctual nature.

• To dream that you are walking through the woods, signifies your return to an aspect of yourself that is innocent and spiritual.

• To see a staircase in your dream, symbolizes change and transformation.

I have had this dream every other year since my teens. I haven't had it in a while, but the previous dream might be a indicator of things to come.

Dreams

Last evening, well, it was actually early this morning, I awoke around 4:30am and I was terrified by a nightmare - it wasn't the usual nightmare I have every so often (it has occurred annually) - this one was just different.

In my dream, I am in a house that is fairly dark/antique looking walls, lit candles, green/black wall coverings, redwood furniture, burgundy rug (Persian style), a wall that looks like it has window shutters with a round or warped round shape in brick on the wall, it looks like it was a window but is blocked by bricks and could be picture or something. I am playing a game (video). I also find myself getting on a plane going somewhere back and forth (short distance), but I am always in a waiting area to board planes and when I get off the plane I am in front of a ATM machine. At one point I get on the plane and it is the last plane going across the country (west). I remember thinking, great, now I will have to wait forever before I can get home. When I return, I am back in the house, and playing the game. At this point, I am not happy to play this game, but something is forcing me to do it. I am no longer in control. I see myself flying over a neighbourhood, I point at different houses and see things happening inside, I am able to make things happen. I have powers to control what happens. I start to panic as I make flames on a stove with a frying pan and then I am pushing a person crossing the street - these are incidents that I see and control. To think I am able to have all this power is scary and I want it to stop. I then find myself sitting in a dinning room floor while playing this game. I don't want to play anymore, I put the game down and lie on the floor but the cord of the game controller seems to grow longer and is trying to wrap itself around me to strangle me. I panic again as I look at the wall with the object/window shutters, it appears to move / breath. I feel as if there is something in the room, evil, and my heart beats quicker as I try and find a way out. I feel trapped and I can't stop the evil from taking over. For some reason, I end up ordering a guidebook (now, why I would do this is beyond me...) and it tells me to quit the game I have to enter some combination code and say I don't want to play anymore. The dream ends when I wake up and I am sweating and having a hard time breathing. I feel exhausted as if I have been somewhere.

So I need to understand what the hell that was all about. I couldn't sleep afterwards at least until it was light out and I had found a distraction...I was exhausted and ended up calling in sick. I always feel guilty when I call in - why should I ?

Meaning source: dreammoods.com

• To dream that you computer has a mind of its own, denotes anxiety about technology and loss of control. You are feeling overwhelmed and feel that you are at the mercy of another.

• To see a frying pan in your dream, represents completeness in love. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to start accepting the consequences of your actions. You may have found yourself in an inescapable situation.

• To dream that you are in a panic, indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You may be feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

• To dream that you are a passenger, suggests that you are not in control of your life and are letting others decide for you. To see other passengers signifies, that you are spending too much energy pleasing others. You may feel that others are leeching on you.

• To see a blurry picture in your dream, suggests that your memory of the depicted event, incident, or people, is fading. Perhaps you need to let go of the past and stop holding on to what was and concentrate on what is. On the other hand, you are attempting to disguise a situation and refusing to see it as it really is. You need to learn acceptance.

• To dream that you are playing, suggests your tendency to go against the norm and break the rules of convention. You have unrestricted creativity. Alternatively, it may be an indication that you are all work and no play.

• To dream that you are pointing at someone or something, indicates that you need to pay more attention to that particular person or object. They may be showing you the way to solving a problem in your waking life.

• To dream that you are possessed, represents your state of helplessness and not being in control of things.

• To dream that you have power, indicates your growing confidence, high self-esteem and increasing skills. Alternatively, your dream of power may try to compensate for a waking situation in which you were powerless.

• To dream that you feel fear, signifies that you achievements will not be as successful as you had anticipated. You are having anxieties in certain circumstances of your life.

• To dream that you do not have enough oxygen, suggests that you are feeling suffocated or smothered by a situation in your life.

• To see a cable in your dream, represents your stamina and durability. If the cable is frayed or broken, then it signifies a lack of strength.

• To see a burning candle in your dream, signifies that good luck and hope will be coming your way in small and steady amounts. You are in a comfortable stage in your life and may be seeking spiritual enlightenment. Lit candles are also symbolic of intellect, enlightenment, awareness or the search for truth.

• To dream of being or going abroad, indicates an unbalance and chaos to your current situation and condition. Consequently, you the dream represents you need for change in scenery. Alternatively, you may need to expand your horizons and make some drastic changes in your life. You are experiencing a new sense of spirituality. Lastly, the dream could also indicate a new to escape a current situation.

• To see an airplane in your dream, indicates that you will overcome your obstacles and rise above to a new level of prominence and status. You may experience a higher consciousness, new-found freedom and greater awareness.

• To dream that you transfer planes, implies an important transitional phase in your life which will take you away from your intended path. Changes will occur in your life which will take you to new directions and new heights of status and recognition.

• To see demons in your dream, represents ignorance, negativity, distress or your shadow self. It also forewarns of overindulgence and letting lust give way to your better judgment. As a result, your physical and mental health may suffer.

• To see the devil in your dream, signifies negative aspects of yourself. It may also indicate feelings of guilt that you have been harboring. It is time to release these feelings. Alternatively, the devil may represent intelligence, cunningness, deception, and cleverness.

• To dream that you fought off the devil, symbolizes that you will succeed in defeating your enemies.

• To dream that you are in a dining room, represents your quest for knowledge and understanding. You may be reaching an important decision in your life.

• To dream that you are playing a video game, represents your ability to manipulate others into doing what you want them to do. Alternatively, it suggests that you are trying to escape and not confront the stress and problems in your real life. Consider the type of video game for additional insights.

• To see or dream that you are a character in a video game, suggests that you are feeling controlled and manipulated by others. You feel that you have no control over your actions or are not taking responsibility for them.

• To dream that you are making a voyage in your dream, foretells of an inheritance.

• To see a wall in your dream, signifies limitations. obstacles and boundaries. There is a barrier obstructing your progress. You may have been accustomed to your old habits and way of thinking.

• To dream of going west, represents fulfillment, opportunities, and growth. Alternatively, it may symbolize an ending of something, death, or old age.

• To see shut windows in your dream, signifies desertion and abandonment.

• To see a wire in your dream, symbolizes your short but frequent journeys.

• To dream that you or someone else is being strangled, denotes that you are repressing or denying a vital aspect of your expression.

• To dream that you are suffocating, signifies that you are feeling smothered or oppressed by some situation/relationship. Something or someone is holding your back. You are experiencing stress and tension.

I guess that's food for thought....

right or left brain...

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (40%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (48%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

La Mer

I finally received the lotion and toner from fragrancenet.com and I have to say - this stuff is amazing! I couldn't believe how smooth my skin felt after using it. unbelievable. Unfortunately, for the price, its not something I could continue using on a regular basis.

Paul Van Dyk at Koolhaus

Last evening, I went to see PVD... it was a a great show, but felt that the price of the ticket really wasn't worth it. Don't get me wrong, I love Paul ~ but I'd rather pay $40/50 (euros) to see him in Berlin (or any other European country because they know how to party - they are there to dance and appreciate the musik, whereas, the idiots I was surrounded by at Koolhaus spent more time taking pictures and gawking at him. It was difficult to dance when you have people constantly walking in front of you to take a picture - and then there were the drunks. G~d, I can't stand people who can't handle their alcohol and insist on trying to have a conversation or get into fights or just can't stand straight - I spent more time avoiding people who were bumping into me, or just trying to walk through the crowd. I was checking out his website and notice that he will be in Berlin on December 15... oh I wish I could be there. I wonder what Andreas is up to?

the Power Within

Yesterday, I was one of what seemed like thousands of people who turned out to hear William Jefferson Clinton. I was very much impressed with his message ~ and it could not come at a better time. I mentioned a lot of statistical information (far too much too many stats to repeat here) and it only brought to light his message. I am guessing he is on a book tour as they were selling his book, "Giving, How Each of Us Can Change The World'. In other words, as private citizens, don't wait for the government to do something or the private corporations; we should be the ones"... to seek out what each of us, "regardless of income, available time, age, and skills", can do to help, to give people a chance to live out their dreams." I was inspired.

The book can be purchased from amazon.ca for only $14.97! (and free shipping if you purchase $39 or more).

I am in the mood to watch Raise the Red Lantern or Memoirs of A Geisha...in fact, I would love to travel to Japan ~ something I will look into next year.

marilyn monroe

Christmas is coming...

Another month and we will be full swing into the madness of christmas shopping. I normally wait until the very last minute to consider any gifts and by then, I usually buy a couple of inexpensive gifts with a card and some cash. I know, I should be more familiar with what ma famille likes, but I just can't put up with the stress of looking for gifts for people who are related to me by blood - I know nothing about what they really like. Really sad, I am trying to reach out and get to know at least my neice and nephew.

My First In-car Driving Lesson

I finally had my first in-car lesson. Oh my g~d, I can't believe I was driving down the road, went through the lights, at which point I started to panic because I thought, oh g~d, please don't let me crash. It was amazing! I'm laughing to myself as I go over that whole lesson - I was like, oh wait there's someone walking down the street, oh there's a car on that side of the road - meanwhile both were far enough away :-) My instructor said that my ideal driving conditions would be a road to myself, since I am not confident with other people, cars on the road. Ha, isn't that the truth. Anyhow, over time, I am sure it will get better.

My next lesson is next Saturday, and I get to practice turning... now I really wish I had someone to practice with.

summer is over

~ tomorrow I will watch my last movie from this years' Festival. I felt as if most of the movies I saw dealt with old people, and really depressing subjects. Reclaim Your Brain was my favourite and I think I will have to look for it when it becomes available on DVD.

TIFF07 films that I viewed:
Atonement
Love Comes Lately
And Along Come Tourists
Wolfsbergen
Shadow (Saturday)
Reclaim Your Brain