Hello my friend

 It’s already the end of April 2026, and so far the year is turning out to be a repeat of past years. I’m feeling defeated and not hopeful I will ever get to a place where I am happy. I’ve lost a ton of weight, yay, but for how long? Work is the same, maybe a bit easier since I’ve just resolved that it is what it is. If I keep this up, I’ll be dead before year end. 

Getting more frustrated with myself not being motivated to continue with the resin or jewelry work; this is supposed to be my 5 year plan on self employment. It’s supposed to be my out to move and live off grid or remote near the ocean whether on the west or east coast. 

Anyhow, this is just a check in and a sign to kick myself moving towards something different. A life I so deserve even though I don’t feel I do most times.  

J.

Marilyn and Warhol

August 5, 2012

 Today is the 50th Anniversary of the untimely death of Marilyn Monroe. She has long been one of the Hollywood icons who I admire and also who I've amassed a collection of stuff on the late screen actress. Recently, while in NYC, I came across some limited edition portraits of the actress, taken by the photographer, Schiller.

The framed prints, taken around the time of her last unfinished picture, Something's Got To Give, feature the Marilyn in a towel, emerging from the water, in the water, and some candid shots of her in the company of Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.

A friend said that particular picture would be a nice picture to own and I had considered purchasing it, until I remembered that Dean Martin was no friend of Marilyn. In fact, according to the author's book, he stated that the likes of him and Hollywood were not allowed by Joe DiMaggio to come to her funeral, as they all contributed to her demise. I tend to agree.

So why would I want a picture of this man on my wall. I would have preferred one where she is alone. I'd have to visit the store again because I'm sure there were a few others that were more interesting.

decorating

I have started to think about decorating my place again... this time, small steps - first up are paint samples. I am going for a very neutral beige or grey colours, warm colours. I came across a picture of some new condo models and loved the look of the walls, with black frames, silver appliances and a beautiful hard wood (or bamboo) flooring. I envision having a lime green (light) colour tiles for the backsplash in the kitchen and a wood (perhaps dark) doors on the cabinetry. The last thing I will do is replace the carpeting in the hallway and living room with a flooring that can stand Silas's nails (i.e., will not scratch easily). Otherwise, I will get an area carpet - preferably a persian type one - with deep reds and beige. I guess I am thinking cinnamon and spice - India.

I am in the mood to watch Raise the Red Lantern or Memoirs of A Geisha...in fact, I would love to travel to Japan ~ something I will look into next year.

summer is over

~ tomorrow I will watch my last movie from this years' Festival. I felt as if most of the movies I saw dealt with old people, and really depressing subjects. Reclaim Your Brain was my favourite and I think I will have to look for it when it becomes available on DVD.

TIFF07 films that I viewed:
Atonement
Love Comes Lately
And Along Come Tourists
Wolfsbergen
Shadow (Saturday)
Reclaim Your Brain

vacation abroad

Paris.

It was sadly disappointed this time around.


Lately all my trips abroad have been somewhat disappointing. I guess I really must look at why and what's happening with me? I don't know what's wrong, but nothing seems to be pleasing. It takes a movie or television, or jokes to make me laugh.

My life - I can't find anything that makes me happy. There is definitely something wrong.

Pere Lachaise

I love this headstone.








Allan Kardec:

Jim Morrison: