I would love to live in this apartment for 3 - 6 months.

First Vacation (I mean 'real vacation) in Two Years!!!

 So 2022 is turning out a bit different than I expected.. I'm still in that mood where I don't give a rats ass what happens to me - but now things are opening up and can say things are starting to look better! I am about to head out on a beach holiday - one that I have waited two years for.. I can't wait. 

Home buying front - what a joke - I can't afford anything and anything I can is a dump. It needs to be torn down.. 

Stay Tuned. 

Happy Birthday To Me

So 2017 has not been as eventful as I thought, other than me losing a ton of weight thanks to the clinic in Harrisburg, they have been so supportive and my eating habits have changed for the better. I feel that people treat me differently, one person who would never give me the time of day - seems much more open and says hello more often. I'm not sure what to make of this. I feel like I want to keep losing until I get to my target weight. I hate food. I can't stand eating, so I need to find a way to get rid of these hunger pains. I drink a lot of water, chew gum and keep myself busy to not think about food. Stress has taken over my life for now.

Sometimes I feel like this is my last year. I don't care if I live or die. I'm trying to get rid of the junk that I have been carrying around for years. I hold onto items that are tied to bad memories. I hate my ex-boyfriend who friended me this year on Facebook. How dare he reach out to me. I don't care that he lost his wife to cancer - he cheated on me with her. He broke my heart and wasted 10 years of my life on him.

I miss my Dad, he took care of me. NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME now. I don't get calls or emails, I"m expected to give to D all the time and I don't have anything - I don't care about him or the relationship. I just want to die. I bet the people at work don't say boo about my birthday - they give parties for everyone else, but I'm an afterthought - I just do everything and get nothing in response. I wish I would find another job, I wish that I can take the dogs and move away from here and say goodbye to everyone. I'm surrounded by selfish fucks who only care about themselves. I give and give and give, and get nothing back, maybe I'm the selfish one. I don't care, this is it for me.

A road trip to Harrisburg, PA

It's already April, and the weather is starting to get nicer, the birds are singing, flowers are starting to bloom... and I"m in the mood to do some travelling. After what seems like such a long winter, I'm ready to get out there. Heading back to PA this weekend, exploring the area and possibly hitting up the Hersey factory. Harrisburg is a great city, they have a nice downtown area to walk around and grab some food at one of the many restaurants. Check out the National Civil War Museum, although small, it has tons of artifacts on display. The next trip will include a trip to the Gettysburg National Military Park. In July they have a re-creation of the Gettysburg battle. If I can figure out how to upload my iphone pix, I will post.

Paris 2010

This time around, of course I am visiting Jim, but I am also visiting the catacombs, some shops and a few other galleries. One gallery I plan on visiting is the Karl Lagerfeld Gallerie, which is located not far from my accommodations. Also, I plan on taking a bike tour to Van Gogh's Museum (house) while in Paris. Its about 26 km trip but it will be good...

It has been a few weeks since our trip to Las Vegas, and already, I'm anxious to go on another trip. Not necessarily Vegas, but a trip none the less. Pictured is Joe in front of this massive slot machine, hilarious! Vicky, Karine, Joe and I spent 3 days in Vegas, and naturally, it wasn't long enough to properly see everything. Unfortunately, I and Karine, spent the afternoon out by the pool, and the funniest thing happened... both of us were wheelchaired up to our rooms because we were so wasted - NEVER again! Haha, oh well, its something I won't forget too soon.

Travels

I love traveling... I think it must be in my make-up because, I could travel long distances without a problem. I always feel so content on the road- and when I have to return home I don't feel content. Here are a few pictures from my recent jaunt in NY state (obviously, it was flooding there....)

I loved this shot - it almost looked like someone was looking at me through goggles...


And finally, a picture of Silas will complete this posting...

Happy New Year (to anyone who actually reads this ;-)

Big Brother is watching ...

I've just returned from a short - 1 week - visit to London. Overall, I don't rate it high on my list of top places I've been to. It was too chaotic, too many tourists, too expensive (lacking quality) and found it lacked any class or culture. I felt as if I just visited a trailor park for a week. Anyhow, a few things I did notice - the presence of CCTV camera's set up everywhere you went. Walking down the street, in stores, in transit (buses, trains, walkways) - I think the only place not touched were the toilets (one would hope). My work place recently installed some security camera's and every time I walk by one - I can't help but notice it. I am always looking up at it - knowing full well that no one is looking at us - its main purpose is for after hours activity when no one is in the building. I know this but yet, I still get nervous and suspicious of those cameras' and who might be watching. What a terrible thing to live in London with all those camera's watching everyone all the time - in the buses, everyone heads for the top level and the first thing one see's is a camera staring right at you. What is it about camera's that make me feel as if I am a criminal? I am not doing anything wrong but in a foreign country - who knows what people will do with those images. This is probably why I feel as if Britain and America are both in the same boat when it comes to security- and this is probably why I didn't like Britain as much as I thought I would. Some have an arrogance about them that is very similar to American's. When I see how they operate, it's no wonder they have amassed huge museums worth of goods stolen by its conquered countries. It's disgusting - perhaps, I thought too much about this fact. I refused to go into any of the 'free entry' museums because they only charge you to see any exhibits on loan by another institution. Oh I don't know what I am talking about - I'm just rambling again.

I'm off to London

After several weeks of hymming and hawing, I have decided on a trip to London (UK). I've never been before and I can't wait! I have been busy planning everything (or close to it) I want to see. Cashed in some a/p miles and hopefully (g-d willing) all will be fine. I am very much afraid that I will be stuck at the airport and...well, I shouldn't think that way. Anyhow, it is going to be brilliant! It's only 6 days, but that is plenty of time! It will give me a chance to find some small little hole in the wall to stay in next time. It is going to be weird not heading to Paris or Berlin this time around. I may head to Paris for xmas - or Berlin... who knows - maybe south for some sun.

my flight memory

Berlin at Night

Picture 1: Berlin at Christmas time ('06); Pariser Platz and Brandonburg Tor; Nacht...

vacation....

So now I am on holiday until January. I received an email from Air Canada on fare sales 'to my favourite' destinations... a few clicks and I was at the check out page for a flight to London - total price? $1000. I was like, what!? Where's the sale? The fuel alone was over $200. Well, having just received my Maple Leaf Lounge access (card) - I plan on making at least 3 flights this year (one work related so far). I need to make the most of that fee, I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I signed up for it. Oh well, its too late now.

No new dog either, I decided against it. Just don't have the cash to fork out for one. Besides, Silas would hate me if I got another dog.

summer is over

~ tomorrow I will watch my last movie from this years' Festival. I felt as if most of the movies I saw dealt with old people, and really depressing subjects. Reclaim Your Brain was my favourite and I think I will have to look for it when it becomes available on DVD.

TIFF07 films that I viewed:
Atonement
Love Comes Lately
And Along Come Tourists
Wolfsbergen
Shadow (Saturday)
Reclaim Your Brain

vacation abroad

Paris.

It was sadly disappointed this time around.


Lately all my trips abroad have been somewhat disappointing. I guess I really must look at why and what's happening with me? I don't know what's wrong, but nothing seems to be pleasing. It takes a movie or television, or jokes to make me laugh.

My life - I can't find anything that makes me happy. There is definitely something wrong.

Pere Lachaise

I love this headstone.








Allan Kardec:

Jim Morrison:

Smurfette on Scooter Travels

Smurfette visits Milan's fashion district..

Smurfette visiting Berlin's East Side Gallery! 

positano

i really was fascinated with this boat that was docked in the bay area of positano for atleast 2 days during my stay a while ago.

silas and long island

that's my Silas, trotting along 'Brighten Beach'. Not exactly how I pictured it, but for March, it was delightful. An absolute pleasure to be WALKING around and was somewhat relaxing. The trip was not worth all the b*crap I had to deal with such as crazy drivers and the company I went with. Note to self, go with someone different next time. I swear, I spent more time in the care than walking anywhere. the person that I went with wasn't much help. It will be the last time I go anywhere with them. What has come out of this trip? My desire to drive! I need to get my license - because next year this time, I want to be able to get in a car and go anywhere!

Berlin in December

Its been awhile since I've returned from my travels before xmas. the weather certainly wasn't what I had expected, but then when is it? Here's a pix of the windmill outside Berlin's Museum of Technology - home to rows of old trains from way back. Another museum been there, done that. Berlin will be on my list of to be lists for this year as the Love Parade finally found a sponsor. So off to Berlin in July I shall go.

Christmas in Berlin 2001

In 2001, New Years Eve, Berlin, I remember having to stand in front of the Brandenburger Tor, waiting for the fireworks and drinking this stuff to keep warm. I had to keep moving or push someone away from those heated stalls/tables (you know the kind - standing room only type of setting). Well, I was frozen, I literally felt those cold Siberian winds blowing down on me. My feet had lost feeling, and this was gradually moving up to my legs. I sorry, I said to Andreas, I have to go, I can't stand this cold anymore. Walked towards Potsdamer Platz, to catch the S-Bahn / U-bahn home (or his flat). Had to duck the firecrakers being thrown by the young 'crackers' who insisted on letting this fly, while people walked down stairs to get to their trains. Amazingly, I survived, however, crossing traffic in Rome may have proven to be a safer bet. They had absolutely no concern! They walk around with their big bottles of beer, drinking, laughing, and what's most distrubing, mein german sucks at that time, so I wouldn't know if they were saying anything rude to me. Get back to his quiet nicer area of Berlin, Zehlendorf, the former American zone of a divided berlin, to his flat. Once again, encountered more firecrakers. Another trip to avoid being hit.

One thing I noticed in Berlin, they have these neat blinds that come down 'outside the home'! That's a switch, and seems more logical to me. Their hotwater heater in the bathroom area, doubles as a tower drier (looks rather nicer compared to those ugly ancient ones here in my place.) I haven't seen them anywhere, and i am sure if I ever had a place that had those, I would inquire about upgrading. I wonder if they are more energy efficient? The germans are so good and conscientious towards the environment, its surprising that other nations (esp us nord americans) haven't adopted this? We've been recycling here since the late eighties, and I am surprised to come to the USA and not see it widely accepted. Ignorance, no regard to anyone else.

I read a post today, this woman, unfortunately lives on the west coast where are the fires are burning, and comments on 'what the world is coming to: 'mentioning, flooding, hurricanes and fires' - the fact that in her eyes, 'the world being referred to is her country, the US of Amerika. Interesting how differing the views are between Kanada and the US are. I would have said something, what is this country coming to, or in addition to the fires etc, I would have thrown some actually atrocities occuring outside the usa.

Okay, so I go a bit off topic, originally, I had intended to put this recipe but memories of my first christmas in berlin, I had to share... so, here's the recipe: From: www.dw-world.de - Culture & Lifestyle Deutsche Welle

As I prepare for my trip in December, I am trying to gather as much information as possible. und natürlich, ich habe keine zeit! Zu viel places to see, an so little time..So this recipe would be appropriate starting in the first day after of advent through to the 24th December. 'When the chill sets in, it's time for a hot drink. In Germany and Austria, one of the most popular beverages at this time of the year is Glühwein.

You will need: 1 bottle of red wine, 100 ml water (about 0.1 quart); 5 g of sugar (less than 2 ozs), 2 -3 cloves, 1/2 peeled lemon, 1 stick cinnamon.
Directions: Boil cinnamon, sugar, and cloves in water. Turn of heat. Strain the water after 25 -30 mins. Add wine to water. Heat wine - but don't boil (boiling removes the alcohol). Add lemon. And serve in a BIG mug!