Happy Birthday To Me

So 2017 has not been as eventful as I thought, other than me losing a ton of weight thanks to the clinic in Harrisburg, they have been so supportive and my eating habits have changed for the better. I feel that people treat me differently, one person who would never give me the time of day - seems much more open and says hello more often. I'm not sure what to make of this. I feel like I want to keep losing until I get to my target weight. I hate food. I can't stand eating, so I need to find a way to get rid of these hunger pains. I drink a lot of water, chew gum and keep myself busy to not think about food. Stress has taken over my life for now.

Sometimes I feel like this is my last year. I don't care if I live or die. I'm trying to get rid of the junk that I have been carrying around for years. I hold onto items that are tied to bad memories. I hate my ex-boyfriend who friended me this year on Facebook. How dare he reach out to me. I don't care that he lost his wife to cancer - he cheated on me with her. He broke my heart and wasted 10 years of my life on him.

I miss my Dad, he took care of me. NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME now. I don't get calls or emails, I"m expected to give to D all the time and I don't have anything - I don't care about him or the relationship. I just want to die. I bet the people at work don't say boo about my birthday - they give parties for everyone else, but I'm an afterthought - I just do everything and get nothing in response. I wish I would find another job, I wish that I can take the dogs and move away from here and say goodbye to everyone. I'm surrounded by selfish fucks who only care about themselves. I give and give and give, and get nothing back, maybe I'm the selfish one. I don't care, this is it for me.

My Space

I am addicted to MySpace. I've neglected doing my own web page, now I spend all my time looking for 'friends' people who interest me - share interests, and what's really great about this is I am really starting to 'know me' - or rather have a clearer understanding of who I am and what I want.
I read all these profiles and I think,g~d this is too weird, I am not the only one or someone else out there likes the same things. its been tremendous in relieving stress from work, I get stressed, I logon, and suddenly I am among 'friends'. Okay, so its a bit stretched - for now, its better than spending money i don't have on ebay or amazon.

Fashion Designers and their Products

Its happening again. After years of not being so conscious of 'designer labels, style, and brand names' I am trapped again in this world. The people around me are obsessed with labels. I can't understand why. I grew up with Chanel, Gucci, and Louis - and after a couple of saves by daddy in the credit card department, I vowed to stay away and not be caught up with it. I am glad that I don't need to wear a certain item to feel I am worth something. I buy for quality.

I've had my Louis' and Gucci's sitting in my closets for 10 years, occasionally taking them out for air once in awhile. Now, I have the wannabes carrying the fakes or 'vintage' - fakes - walking everywhere.. I was even shocked to see how they sell them outside or near areas where the real thing is sold.. (in Venizia, Napoli, and Sorrento...)