Finally

It's been over a year since I last wrote or had anything worthy of writing. Everything is the same, busy, stressed, struggling to stay afloat while trying to figure out where I am heading. Things are slowing coming together and making some sense - essentially I know what I don't want in my life, and have spent the past 9 months of getting rid of those things. I've tossed things that I once regarded as memories - they weren't memories, they were chains holding me back from living my life. Once I realised this and was able to emotionally detach myself from the 'things' around me, I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I still have anxiety over things but its getting easier to let go. I finally am cutting ties with my past - including people that I had once respected, but who appear much different now that they are no longer in my life. It is very refreshing to see things differently - to not react or respond to my usual triggers. I'm not quite at a place where I know what I want, I am isolating myself and I'm okay with that. I'd rather stay in and not face life or society or people.. the city is getting more crowed, the commute is longer and people are selfish.

While in PA recently, I saw this book at the 2nd and Charles bookstore.. I had to get it because it had my name all over it:

Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t

US Election results

So Trump has one. Hilary Lost. But.. has this election motivated people to vote or to walk away. I'm not concerned that Trump will do everything that he says he wanted to do. Its a democracy, he doesn't have a dictatorship where he has full reign over everything. Its a sad day for #women though. America basically said it would rather have a racist male than an #woman.

Thoughts on Public Transit

The Toronto Transit went on strike for a little over a day - midnight to early evening Sunday, only after the mayor and province legislated a back-to-work action. As I sit here and read the same comments over and over, I don't understand why these people continue to write away on the CBC's website - how many people read these comments, who are you reaching? Will this really make a difference? Probably not, the same crap occurred a few years back and although the same forum was not widely used, but nevertheless the same feelings were being expressed on local television broadcasts. Its a waste of time complaining - if you are not apart of the solution, you are part of the problem. That's it. No matter where you go, every city has its fair share of problems - in Berlin, the stop I take most often does not have a ticket collector, you validate your ticket and hop on the train. In Paris, you validate your ticket on the way 'out' of the station. Berlin has its transit cops that walk through trains checking for tickets and if you are caught without you are fined. My feeling is, they most likely have the backing of government funding, more so than Toronto's - but they have a very efficient system, you rarely have to deal with staff at all - so this would take care of the rudeness of transit workers here - put automated systems in all the stations, and get rid of ticket collectors all together. Put a barrier for the bus/streetcar drivers, so we don't have to look at their ugly mugs, pay your fair, swipe your pass - to get through the turnstile or to be let off the vehicle.

The Problem of Too Many Friends

So I have been after my friends to get signed up on MySpace so we can share this experience (pls note the word 'experience'). One did sign up finally, and has seven friends. She hasn't done a thing to her page, hasn't logged on since the 27th. And its not that she doesn't have internet, they do. My beef: if you didn't want to sign up, why did you waste my time in showing you everything, then don't put the effort to learn yourself on what this is all about. I don't jump into something without doing a little backgrounder on it first. I would expect any intelligent person to do this. Okay, so that's fine, whatever. The second one, I had to do the same thing, and I'm like, you hear me talking about this ~ why the hell don't you go on look around and make your own decision if you want sign up. She's all excited about the idea of doing something, however, what they both don't realise is - its a networking, social community, much like MSN, AOL etc. In other words, a place to meet people. I admit, the idea of getting as many friends was inviting, and I eagerly spent a few days - clicking add me, add me, and building up my 'friends'. It was not until I actually started to get to know people, that I realised, its hard to keep up with hundreds of people, and eventually created a second profile for fun crazy nuts stuff. I chose people based on common interests, spending time looking for people who I thought I would click with, and the choices have all been 'bang' on. That's over six months or more. So here comes, new friend # 2, starts clicking away at all my 'choice' friends, with absolutely no thought as to how I would feel esp when one of them is someone who I am actively pursuing. There is no wrong with that, but I don't like sharing - I'm selfish (hey at least I'm honest!). Maybe I should have kept my space mine. Am I being a jealous bitch, no, but its like copying someone's space and claiming it as your own. So that's my rant for today... (yeah, stupid now...)

myspace sucks

I have been experiencing problems for four days now. I am fed up with it. This morning I thought I lost my profile again, but this time, I just changed my 'top 8' and voila, there it was. On Monday, I logged in, and my profile was gone. Absolutely riduculous. Bullshit about the power outage. the fucking idiot that bought myspace is a fucking gazillionaire, no bloody way, it continues to lag in service. Fucking asshole Murdoch. This guy is a first rate capitalist. Have you seen Outfoxed? Watch it and learn...