Finally

It's been over a year since I last wrote or had anything worthy of writing. Everything is the same, busy, stressed, struggling to stay afloat while trying to figure out where I am heading. Things are slowing coming together and making some sense - essentially I know what I don't want in my life, and have spent the past 9 months of getting rid of those things. I've tossed things that I once regarded as memories - they weren't memories, they were chains holding me back from living my life. Once I realised this and was able to emotionally detach myself from the 'things' around me, I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I still have anxiety over things but its getting easier to let go. I finally am cutting ties with my past - including people that I had once respected, but who appear much different now that they are no longer in my life. It is very refreshing to see things differently - to not react or respond to my usual triggers. I'm not quite at a place where I know what I want, I am isolating myself and I'm okay with that. I'd rather stay in and not face life or society or people.. the city is getting more crowed, the commute is longer and people are selfish.

While in PA recently, I saw this book at the 2nd and Charles bookstore.. I had to get it because it had my name all over it:

Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t

The Ides of March

Beware.. the ides of March is almost upon us. I am in the final weeks of courses and I am getting anxious and overwhelmed with the pressure. I am looking forward to having some free time to read, learn a new language, or even take a general interest course (TESL). I am getting the itch to move away from here, I am not really happy with living in this area anymore. The weather is awful, many of the people I come across are just rude and full of entitlement. Maybe I should just sell up and move elsewhere in the City. I have my boyfriend and between the both of us, we should do well together. But if and when I get this degree, it should be able to open doors for me. I feel unchallenged at work, all the skills I picked up at school, I rarely use in the workplace. I love the people I work with, and the community - but I rarely get a chance to do anything outside the office. I understand the boss needs me around, but I know I could do so much more.

Relationship is good, much better, although there are times when I wonder if I made the right decision. I may be too set in my ways - too independent I guess. Does this scream independence:)

i do not like vista

Finally, I received my laptop (purchased through Dell) and I am not too pleased with Vista. I should have requested the XP set up. I can't find anything - I had this annoying pop up every time I opened a programme, and I thinking, for the love of g~d, please stop already. Right now, just importing all my music for itunes. I am pleased with this one. I am probably going to sell my old laptop, which is much faster than the desktop (purchased in March 2007). Either way, this baby is going to be my main one. I was sick today and what a day it was. The weather was incredibly warm out (10c) but it was grey and depressing. Watched a programme on eating disorders and made me think how about all the years I've obsessed over my weight. I feel awful so now I have to get back into shape.