Goodbye Summer

 I can't believe the summer is over again. I'm feeling so distance from everyone and not caring about anyone. I miss my babies Cosette and Silas and wish that I would just join them. 

Summertime Summertime...

 Well, mid way through summer, another birthday has passed. Didn't do my xmas in July and didn't do anything special. I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate the people I work with except for a small few... when will things change for the better. I am hoping to move away, but with the dogs, lack of work, I"m pretty much stuck having to work full time for now. D is going to be 67 this year and can retire. He's actively looking at places and I can't move. I need my job.. something that is so selfish of him to think we can move anywhere.. fuck my life. 

Quit quit quit

 gawd I should be happy with where I'm at in my life.. but I'm just spiriling out of control and just wish I would land facedown in a ditch somewhere. 

Happy New Year 2024

 Another year, what can I say. I'm listening to my 80s music and 90s dance stuff. what the heck. I miss my youth. I had a life when I was 18-19, and the years beyond. I wish I would die now. 

Merry Christmas and a happy new year

Another year on the books, and what can I say - has it been better than the last? Not really. I feel like I keep making the same mistakes; never changing my ways, and never learning from what I already know for a better fulfilled life. I'm not as obsessed with death and my eventual ending, but should be focused on what I can do to live my best life with the time I have. Also, I need to pay attention to my health. My habits need to change for better ones such as exercise, walking/running. Read more, eat/drink less. quit sugar. I've not been one to eat sweet stuff, but I can't stop. Candy, chocolate. bad. chips, and fries, need to go. I'm not getting younger. 

Goals for the new year - focus on learning some coding skills, writing, reading more. Hobbies - crafts, jewelry, playing the ukulele, calligraphy, journaling. 

Walks with the dogs - I joined one of those walking challenges - walk Paris (53km) within 2 months. It's something to get those steps in and get me outdoors. The dogs will love me for it- well, they will be healthier for it. When the days get longer, the walks will be longer. twice a day. 

We both are bad for this, but we both force ourselves as much as possible. 

I keep thinking of my babies Silas and Colette and me not taking them out as much. They loved it when I did. I can be such a cow. 

My relationship is one that I sometimes think I should just walkaway from because it's not healthy for either of us. We share the same goals of travelling and working abroad (not in Canada). Work right now is okay, and I've been busy doing a lot - but still struggle with staying focused. The #ADHD meds have helped tremendously. It's amazing how I can focus on tasks, but not all the time. 

Hopefully 2024 will be much better. I have a coaching group starting January and I think this will keep me on track. I've started using crystals daily, but need to focus on these: 

Crystals - rose quartz, lapus lazuli, clear calcite, green aventurine, hematite. 

Its the end of the world as we know it

I can't believe the assholes that own the MM home in Brentwood are looking to tear it down and build some god ugly piece of shit. I'm so mad, I wish I had 10M to buy that place because I would and maintain the damn thing. make a museum out of it - it was her only home that she owned and only lived in it for 6 months. I wish some wealthy fucker would buy it and turn it into that... 

https://nypost.com/2023/09/07/petitions-aim-to-save-marilyn-monroes-home-from-demolition/

sign whatever petition to stop this please!!!

the original post where it was reported it would be demolished..

https://nypost.com/2023/09/05/marilyn-monroes-la-home-faces-demolition/

Sunday August 20th

Hello and welcome back. Today we are going to discuss the Just B podcast with Bethenny and her guest, Rachel L. Shit, all those trash bags on VPR made money off of this event. Rachel/Raquel is still hurt but people are not willing to let it go. Hell, Ariana and Tom S both are cheaters. Ariana was such a bitch and I absolutely hated her in the early years. Tom S is such an ass but again, who cares. Why the fuck do I care about these fucks.