tonite....

It's the end of 2007, and what a year it has been. As I prepare to get ready for this evenings festivities, I look back and celebrate how far I have come. Two years ago I could not have imagined that i would be where I am today. I have a lot of work to do in 2008 and there is no time for slacking. I must focus on what needs to be done. Naturally, the usual new years resolutions apply: more exercise ~ atleast get back to my weekly schedule; save money (paying bills off); do my driving test in the first 5 months; Ryerson course starts in January/February; and possibly Ibiza in the summer, with a side trip to Berlin/Hamburg. So those are my plans for the year. Ich habe keine zeit for messing around this year. Happy New Year.

the problem of shopping online

I was one of many people who sat by their computers on Christmas eve - 8pm - hoping to get in on Future Shop's Boxing Day sale. Among the items up for grabs and one that EVERYONE was talking about was the HD DVD player for $99. I was looking for a HTIB to go with the new LCD tv I purchased - so I had my eyes on either the Pioneer or Sony system. I didn't want to spend too much either.

Anyhow... 8pm arrives, and after searching the site (using previously bookmarked items that were on sale) - got to check out - and.... waiting, waiting, ...tick tock tick tock... and then from out of the blue - I was booted off the site. Too busy to access. I was p/o'ed. I wasn't the only one (judging by the comments in both Future Shops boards and RedFlagDeals forums). It was a complete f/up on Future Shop's side.

Needless to say, I did manage to get the system - and it would be sent to me via Purolator. I expected to wait a week for the deliver, but surprisingly, it arrived yesterday - in a HUGE box! Holy, it was taller than me! Hey, if I ever loose the roof over my head, I could use this box as a makeshift home :-)

I started to unpack the thing - and after wiring everything up, looked at all the connections and wires, I thought, holy shit, I can't figure this out. I get no sound - I have all kinds of connections and wires but haven't a clue how to hook the thing up. Why the hell do they make these things so hard? I have the television, the HD digital box, the HD DVD player and the receiver thingy. Making them all work properly was something else. Even the tv - trying to figure out the settings is too confusing, the picture size is never the same - prompting me to change from stretch, zoom, normal and different inputs and holy crap, I am getting fed up with it all.

As I sat last evening thinking about it all, when it comes down to the bottom line, I really don't care about resolution, size, sound - so I packed that stupid thing up and am sending it back. The HD box is going back as well - even though they shipped it out to me - and I made a big deal about having to spend a day dragging the old box to Rogers Video - and their bloody system were down by the time I arrived there. Anyhow, this whole experience has left a bad taste in my mouth. I am beginning to think I should have just been content with my old tv and regular cable.

Meet and Greet

Tonight I attended a meet and greet (or a holiday wine/cheese party) for the residents of the condo. It was nice, the first one I've been to. It was a small gathering, mostly older residents but it was a good opportunity to meet other people. It would be nice to do this again - hopefully with a much younger crowd. Anyhow, lets see what the new year brings. The vet was here today - and it was Berlin all over again. I am referring to speaking with people who's first language is not englisch, aber, a very nice man - Silas got his shots - which was perfect, so now, I do not need to travel all the way downtown.

Right now, I am watching Walk on Water... I want to go to Israel!

so this is xmas

I love this time of the year. Last week, while walking around in Holt Renfrew, I came upon their potpourri scent of cinnamon and apple. I snatched up the last package (which contained room spray and candle. I can't describe what I feel when I smell this but it reminds me of good thoughts... Certain scents bring about all these emotions from yesteryear - a time in my life when things were, well, not as they are today. This is my therapy. Anyhow, I also picked up a gift set of Agent Provocateur (pictured), oh my g~d, this is wonderful! I love it! It came with some lotion (that provides a slight sheen when worn) and bath gel.

If I could...

I would buy a car, pack all my belongings, and hit the road for some soul-searching quest across this planet. Just me and my dog, driving along the open roads, no destination in mind, just driving. I look forward to sitting behind the wheel. For now, I am patiently waiting for my driving instructor to get his calender right and schedule so consistent days with me. I had most of last week off, had a lesson scheduled on Sunday and then on Thursday morning. Sunday, as luck would have it, we had a major snow storm - so no lesson. No problem, John says, see you on Wednesday, I answer, you mean Thursday right? I had to clarify that as I had to work Wednesday. He says yes okay. Wednesday evening, following my first Board meeting for the condo, I arrive home to a flashing message on the answering machine. John calling, he's running late but will be there at 9:30am. Wait a minute, I think. Our lesson is tomorrow. Next message, John calling, he's waiting downstairs, and if I don't show up in the next few minutes he will have to leave. I should call the office to schedule another time and there will probably be a $20 administration charge for a late cancellation. What!? Unbelievable, this is really pissing me off. I fork out $1400 and I can't even get behind the wheel because of one thing or the other. I am really not happy at this point. I have decided that I am going to request another instructor or have them transfer them downtown and have them pick me up at work. I can't learn this way - it will be a waste of time and money on my part.

matt damon

peacefulspirits

Nothing is hidden, for nature sees all.
What Am I Holding On To?
As I Remove My Darkness, I Reveal Light
Let go of the negative, hold onto the positive
Letting go does not lead to insecurity, rather it builds comfort
I cannot discover new oceans until I loose sight of the shore
Forgive and I will see differently
Allow light where there was darkness
The past is over, it no longer be apart of me.

vacation....

So now I am on holiday until January. I received an email from Air Canada on fare sales 'to my favourite' destinations... a few clicks and I was at the check out page for a flight to London - total price? $1000. I was like, what!? Where's the sale? The fuel alone was over $200. Well, having just received my Maple Leaf Lounge access (card) - I plan on making at least 3 flights this year (one work related so far). I need to make the most of that fee, I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I signed up for it. Oh well, its too late now.

No new dog either, I decided against it. Just don't have the cash to fork out for one. Besides, Silas would hate me if I got another dog.

Myspace

I just cleaned up my blogs over an myspace...leaving just a few of the funnier more memorable ones to reflect on. Things are definitely not the same over there. Life as I knew it (in myspace) is no more. A few key people who I felt I connected with are either on Facebook or have dropped off somewhere. I have emails of others who I will contact and hopefully keep in touch. I like the simplicity of Facebook, but hate how boring it is. At least with myspace you visit a profile and each one is radically different from the next. Getting there in one click used to be a problem, now it appears Facebook is lagging much like Myspace was back in the Spring of last year (06). So as I listen to the beautiful voice of Wayne Jackson (http://www.myspace.com/waynejackson or www.waynejackson.de), 'Everything is Beautiful'. I am anxiously waiting for a solo album to hit Itunes or atleast be available here. I was almost tempted to book a flight to Berlin - but now that I am going to put a deposit on a female pug this week, I think my place is at home while I prepare the meeting of Duchess and Silas. Duchess...maybe, maybe not. I want to name her, all my pets have been named by friends, for once I want to name her. And I can't name her Coco.. Gabi (Gabrielle).. oh well, I have a few days to decide. Hopefully all goes well.

a myspace post from 2006

29 Apr 2006

SADNESS OF THE TRIBE (lyrics) Current mood: bouncy Category: Music this only goes to show how fanatical I can be, I remember hearing this song a long time ago, and every once and a while, I will hear it in my head, and couldn't find it on disk anywhere! So, thanks to the internet, after many searches I finally!!! found out who sings it, okay, so I don't have the song, but its more than what I had before (a song in my head without a name)... so here it is: SADNESS OF THE TRIBE (Ann Mortifee/Paul Burton/Declan O'Doherty/Terry Frewer) Savannah in the dead of night Creatures in the dark Hyenas keep their distance From the carrion of the heart As fearsome as the panther's eye The sadness of the tribe A star for everyone of us The shine of heaven's tears Deathbirds fly between them now The sadness is so near Relentless as the lion's hold The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe Eucalyptus in the dawning mist Fires are burning low A barefoot girl goes from the hills To where she does not know Crying in the morning light The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe Africa I've stood in your rain I've stood in your heartland Africa There's nowhere to hide The sadness of the tribe Is the sorrow of the world Startled pink flamingoes rise Into an auburn cloud While crowds of barefoot wanderers Live only where allowed The madness of captivity The sadness of the tribe The warrior will not shield his eyes His arms are open wide Do not hide the sadness of the tribe The woman in the village knows Her tears are not her own Do not hide the sadness of the tribe ( Mabela Music l984 PROC)

ANTM - 2nd Last Week

Saleisha ? should win, she's very beautiful, natural, and has a very good personality. The other two: the boat model, and Jenna - swan song - who looks past it, too tired. Really, I think all of them have a chance if they want it. Again, Tyra went to bat for Bianca and I don't know if that was for the benefit of the show, but it sucked. Oh, right, I saw the funniest video on YouTube...Santa is a Jerk! Yeah, I am distracted. Today while talking to a co-worker, I took the conversation elsewhere, as if to continue a conversation from days ago.

Together We Will Conquer

Together
(Words and Music by Joey Gregorash)

On this day, we stand together
And pledge our love to one another
Oh my darlin, I will love you
From this moment
There will be no other

On this road, that lies before us
Live the love, the joy and sorrow
But we will always try to remember
The pain today, is the joy tomorrow

And now together, together
Love will be much better, yes it will
Together together, our love will share
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change

But until then, till the we will follow
Follow this road endlessly, we believe,
That we have found love from this moment
From this moment until forever

And now together, together
Love will be much better, yes it will
Together together, our love will share
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change
And forever forever love will keep us together
And together, together our lives will change

Wedding Song (There Is Love)
Music & Lyrics By Noel Paul Stookey (Paul of Peter, Paul & Mary)
Recorded by Paul Stookey - Also Recorded by Harry Belafonte

He is now to be among you
At the calling of your heart
Rest assured this troubadour
Is acting on his part.

The union of your spirits here
Has caused him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is love, there is love.

Well a man shall leave his mother
And a woman leave her home
They shall travel on to where
The two shall be as one
As it was in the beginning
Is now until the end
Woman draws her life from man
And gives it back again
There is love, there is love.

Well then what's to be the reason
For becoming man and wife
Is it love that brings you here
Or love that brings you life

For if loving is the answer
Then who's the giving for
Do you believe in something
That you've never seen before
For there's love, Oh there's love.

Humming…

Oh the marriage of your spirits here
Has caused him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is love, ah there is love.

Death

Because I could not stop for Death 

BECAUSE I could not stop for Death-- 
He kindly stopped for me-- 
The Carriage held but just Ourselves-- 
And Immortality. 

We slowly drove--He knew no haste 
And I had put away 
My labour and my leisure too, 
For His Civility-- 

We passed the School, where Children strove 
At Recess--in the Ring-- 
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain-- 
We passed the Setting Sun-- 

Or rather--He passed Us-- 
The Dews drew quivering and chill-- 
For only Gossamer, my Gown-- 
My Tippet--only Tulle-- 

We paused before a House that seemed 
A Swelling of the Ground-- 
The Roof was scarcely visible-- 
The Cornice--in the Ground-- 

Since then--'tis Centuries--and yet 
Feels shorter than the Day 
I first surmised the Horses Heads 
Were toward Eternity-- 

Emily Dickinson 

america's next top model

I don't know why I continue to watch this show. Every season, same thing - and every season I can't stand Tyra Banks. Last evening's show (a repeat of last weeks) the girls go on go-see's. Of course, one gets lost, at some point three of them are in the same area, and one girl had to wear some sheer skirt and had bright pink underwear on - brilliant, despite being told at ep 1 to wear skin tone undergarments. After it was over, (or maybe it was before?) I watched an interesting CBCNW documentary on Haute Couture. All these 'society woman' discussing why they have closets full of designer vintage garments. What caught my eye was Karl Lagerfeld, he is an absolute genius. I will always remember the time I saw him in Paris, I was too stunned to do anything, but he was getting out of his Range Rover (with entourage) and going into the rue Cambon store. One of these days I will buy something, actually, I really want a trademark Chanel jacket and if I have to save for a year to buy it - I will...

Something like this one, but different, can't locate the picture of it...

more thoughts and future goals

So, after all the snow that fell last night, and as I watched it continue to fall today, I was not surprised when John called to cancel the lesson. Lovely. I knew that would happen. I had hoped to have these lesson closer together, while all the information is fresh in my mind. I can't even remember what the hell I am supposed to do first (other than putting the key in the thingy and starting the vehicle). I know I have to turn some lights on, fix the windows, and move some stick thing into N or D (if those are correct). No one around me has vehicles, my brother just bought a new car (sehr tuer!) and I can't see him letting me go out in that. My other friends have vehicles but I don't even want to ask (or accept their offers to practice). I'd be devastated if anything should happen). So while I spent this afternoon cleaning and getting rid garbage. I really am a packrat. I have pay statements from 1998. Out comes the shredder and no more statements. I made a profile on MSN Spaces (yes, I broke down and went for it) I even added all my web profiles, including this blog. As December begins, I have to think about what my goals for the new year will be. I need to get rid of all the negative influences in my life, I begin the formal process for my conversion to Judaism (something that was started way back in '90 but never went through with it) ~ I've tried to live as a jew, following the teachings, and now I feel I am at a place where I know this is what I was meant to do - I am not going to be swayed. Most people that know me well, are aware of my beliefs. If they don't accept them or can't respect me for my choices, what can I do? Not much. It is my decision, and I alone must decide for me, and not for what should be. On another topic, all but one predictions were true. I have yet to meet this 'person' - but I know that I will, when it is right.