Fall has arrived!

The weather has become much cooler in the past few weeks and leaves are changing colours. The picturesque landscape is beautiful and I'm looking forward to taking it all in. I am not in the best of places but I'm still here. I was in a groove a few weeks back - started using the ASICS app again, put in 2- 3 workouts/runs a week and was beginning to feel good. Yes, that will be followed by the sound of a 'but' unfortunately. I don't know why or what causes me to go off track, to throw in the towel so soon. I don't know if its work, relationships, feeling hopeless about the future - there are too many things swirling around in my head. Thanksgiving came and went and I can't say that I was thankful for anything, I sometimes feel as if what is my purpose, why do I continue down this road of doom and gloom. I can't get 'happy' really happy - the kind where "you feel it deep inside, and you know this by the big smile as if to say, if this were the last day of your life, it was all worth it" - that is the kind of happy I keep chasing but never finding.