Summer Rain

I remember.... listening to Belinda Carlisle, brings me back to those summers where I sat reading in my room or writing essays, or pretending that my life was better than how I FELT. When I found myself with one individual, I trully felt that he was the one. But he broke my heart, and shortly afterwards, my life changed so much that I don't think I could ever come back. In fact, I don't think I was ever in a place of happiness. My life seems to have always been one where I am pleasing others, and my needs have always been put on the backburner. M tried to understand me but I don't think he could have truly understood. He recently came back into my life by way of social media, and I think it has impacted me in the way that one's past has come back to haunt me. He was always what I wanted and aspired to end up with, but I went down the rabbit hole and never came back. I feel the only option I have these days is to just throw the towel in and a call it a day. I'm just waiting for my puppies to go before me.. D is not for me. I hate him. He killed my spirit more than he will ever know.