For the past few months, I have been waking up my regular time, feeling tired and not at all full of energy. I drag myself down the hall and lift up my work laptop. Another day of the same ol', same ol' crap. I spend my days working just at a minimum (occasionally I do need to step it up and work straight through without getting outside, but mainly, I haven't been motivated to much. I don't even feel happy about anything, I spend my days obsessing with death!!! What the hell is wrong with me.. I feel as if I'm falling into dark pit that is covered with wet mud.. I can't get out of this. I finally called my doctor the other day and she gave me Wellbutrin 300mg. I hope it helps. Not sure it will help with my sleeping. I want to sleep a whole night without waking up!! I haven't done this in so long.. I can't even remember the last time I went to sleep at 10pm, waking up at 6am. without waking in the night. I don't know what to do. I have started watching California Preachin' on YouTube. This is Chynna Phllips-Baldwin channel and its the best thing I've watched in such a long time. I wish I had found this last year at the beginning of the pandemic, I think it might have helped me for a bit. But I struggle with feeling so alone and liking it that way. I'm angry. I sad. I'm fat. I hate food. I need to move now.
Link to YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChv4fOIikMs3QbHWIuIZeDQ
California Preachin website - get some march!! I ordered some shirts and the zip jacket, I can't wait to get it
